sooooo....at this moment in time I am in Columbus, with all of these beautiful women poets....volunteering and getting full...feeling a peace within myself...since losing Elijah Henry August 21st 2010 I have been becoming this new person, accepting my new role in life....loving this change...I cannot explain the level of pain I experience at times because of the loss of my baby....however my grief counseling allows me to mourn in a healthy way, and talk about him....speak Elijah's name whenever I can...to keep him remembered...to keep his spirit alive...he lived for two hours and smiled at me and I got that! I saw that...I felt my baby's love and continue to feel....I am sooooo open to my faith and to unconditional love! for every one! it is because of Elijah that I am a better woman to myself first and to others...it is because of Elijah that I am moving in my faith and letting God heal me! talking and writing about it is healthy and if you dont or cant take it!!! beat it! naw....yeah...real talk!! thanks for reading this whoever read it and may you find yourself through any pain or trials that you think are keeping you down, or from your dreams...pain is a form of correction and must be accepted....peace and love!!

A Warm Day in a Cold Land

Today is a warm day, considering that it is February in Cleveland. And there are snow piles high up on curbsides in the city...dirty edged snow....makes one think about the dirt that is on cars, tracked on shoes into people's houses....the germs that comes with all this smog...how we must wash our hands...after touching almost everything...a rant...random thoughts at random times is all that this will be used for...something to exhale to...when I feel like it...just read some real funny lines this morning...had me with tears in my eyes such pure joy from a pure friend whom I met once...made my stomach double-dutch over inside veins...Ghostface...I'm a share his link so you alls can follow...pure truth yet funny....always my heart will love his soul...yeah...we connected like that....like the way the sun shines and melts the bad away...the way nature can make us smile...calm down the thunderstorms within our insides...put pressure on the inside face to smile...through all the pain that faith has released into chosen vessels, smile through the bullshit because it is a reason the skin must be toughened...and there are various ways that this must occur...so sit in your own downfall, low-tide, bad luck, tough time...bullshit which is yours...smile, and open arms to another way of livng for happiness has a new way of feeling...and it takes to feel the bad to feel the good...disinegrating into a sense of nothingness to understand that something is there...that living is a task...it is in itself a pre-planned obstacle course, with pieces ready to attack, defend, and block from achievements...chess is emotion with a RZA backsong...sidewalks crack for secrets to be broken...only some of us can read the cracked language anyway...dont expect us all to see the tears within treebarks, hear the leaves crackle in pain...dont expect everyone to be sensitive to your feelings...thats for the lame leadfooted...people who choose to move without direction...those who lack the discipline to listen...with an open ear and a sound heart...not sugarcoating the already sweet situations...and...maybe that may be their role...if they dont know...smile...glad that I have found and accepted mine...peace. love. respect. knf